Dear Stolby,

It's not so much the cake wasn't good, it's just I've never been the most dedicated fan of cakes. It would please you to know I gave it to my neighbors. I haven't heard any comments back from them, but I am most positive they will return rave reviews. Don't get your shit in a knot. It looked palatable, but that's not reason enough for me to go risking my life shoving a potentially lethal cake down my pampered esophagus. 

Please don't send me any more cakes.

Signed,

--Tokyo Wilson--

Tokyo Wilson