Showing posts with label Fiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fiction. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Golden Racket - Ryan BB shenanigans

Nayr Hoosyodad picked the squash ball up from the court, it was still hot from last game. Bouncing it a few times on the floor, Nayr watched as his opponent, Kahn Kahnoor stepped onto the court. Even though his slightly disfigured face naturally conveyed the expression of a frown, Kahns scowl was unmistakable. Kahn had wanted a clean sweep of the best of five match; 3 straight. But the games were now tied 2-2.
Didn't go exactly as planned, did it Kahn? Thought Nayr. He had won the last two games, and by God he was going to win game 5 too.
"Serve Nayr, your choice" instructed the Referee, meaning he could choose which side of the court to serve from. Apparently the ref was eager to start. The audience sat silently in anticipation. Even the children playing up front had stopped to look. The golden racket was within his grasp if he could just pull off one more win.
"At your leisure, Mr. Hoosyodad!" called out the irritated ref.
"ALRIGHT! ITS NOT MY FAULT THIS WRITTER IS BEING SO FUCKING DESCRIPTIVE" Replied the equally irritated Nayr.

Editors note:
I want to go further with this, however not now. So i guess this is just part one.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Kangaroo love story -Ryan the Writter

terrible is the mind that drives
into oncoming traffic, ruining lives
until, by fate, something, someone
brings my life some meaning, and maybe some fun

I created a visual for those who can't read
It should be obvious which cartoon you need
by looking at the clouds facial expressions they show,
the ideal place in life you need to go



Friday, April 2, 2010

Roger the stray cat - by Jon

The evening was cool and the streets were still. Roger sat silently atop a heap of deformed cardboard boxes, his gaze fixed on an owner picking through garbage some distance from him. Roger never understood or appreciated the value of bottles despite the profound interest by the owners. Bottles are difficult to grip, inedible, too geometric, and often make frightenly loud noises when dropped. They lack the reciprication when pawing, a trait favoured in mice and birds. Yet, to Rogers persistent amazement, the owners were facinated with them, collected them, even fought for them.
Roger lept gracefully from the boxes onto the cool concreate ground. This was the best time of day. The usual bustling activity of the city was muted creating an environment ripe for scavanging and exploring.
Roger stalked down the concreate path. This location, between two steel monoliths, had proven fruitful in the past. The owners, in spite of their penchant for inedible bottles, frequently tossed spicey treats through large doors onto the streets. However, it was no easy pickings by any means. Dogs, mice, birds, and other cats would gather and fight over the owners gift.
Roger knew some of the cats, many of them local, but none worthy of company. A few were travelers who had owners. They stuck out from the rest: clean, well groomed, often flaunting impressive furs, yet a prissy and distasteful attitude. Roger desired them, wanted to be them, he wanted to be owned. He often watched owned cats and relished their lifestyles; playing with mice and birds all day without feeling the need to eat, but instead presenting them as gifts to the owners; small owners cuddling and petting, not throwing stones. Maybe one day, such a scenerio would come true for Roger.
Roger gracefully makes a bend bearing towards the end of the alley where the metal food door lay in wait, cracked open. A thin stream of light was cast on the cement below illuminating treats. Roger's heart beating ever faster, his mouth salivating ever more with each approaching paw. It had occured to Roger that obtaining treats recently had been easier and easier. There were less dogs and fellow cats to fight with in past days, not that it was a concern to Roger, after all he was fit and very sneaky.
Tonight something was amiss though.
The treats were arranged in a tidy fashion, not splayed randomly everywhere like what was common. What really stood out was the presence of the door owner who stood silently against the wall, an empty bag in hand.
Roger thought nothing else of it, the spicey treats were too enticing. Besides, maybe the owner would offer a pet, maybe a toy.
Roger descended upon the spicey treats, his second last meal.
..........................................................
The McNabb's were a middle class, hardworking family with two beautiful, smart children. Michael, the youngest, was entitled to a dinner on the town from his parents (which he rightfully accepted) due to his diligence and hard work in english class - he wrote a poem entitled The nine lives of cats: The dog years which he recieved an A- on. From the multitude of potential resturants, Michael chose Wing Tan's fine Chinese, his favorite.
The ginger beef arrived late, sparking disapproval and a rude remark from the father, Frank, towards the server. However, it was transitory and the family cheer quickly returned to base line. Michael enjoyed the ginger beef, although rather chewy and of odd consitency, he was in too good a mood to led that get to him.
The McNabb's didn't tip.
..........................................................
It looks like Roger the stray cat found a loving and caring family after all.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Lockerroom erotica

This is a section from my up and coming book "The sexy life of Ryan, with sex"

It was approaching 9pm, and Ryan was almost done work. He only needed to sweep the squash courts and cash out before returning to his house to watch House. It was going to be a good night indeed. After doing his clean up routine he was almost out the door when he realized he had not cleaned the locker rooms.
"Fuck" Ryan exclaimed, not realizing the literal foreshadowing of his word.
Hastily grabbing the window cleaner and paper towels, Ryan rushed to the locker room to finish the job. On his way to the women's locker room from the mens, Ryan thought he heard a sound, but he quickly dismissed it as something coming from the arena on the other side of the community center.
Ryan opened the door without thinking and was stunned to see a beautiful women stepping out of the shower, totally nude, naked, and without clothing.
Ryan was shocked. Having never seen a naked women before this was incredible, but a women of such beauty (9.8 on the ranking system) nearly made Ryan faint from the loss of blood from his head.
Something strange happened then. The women didnt scream, or run to drop kick Ryan in the head. She just slowly felt around for her towel.
Did she notice me?
Ryan thought as he stood staring at the beautiful curves of this Goddess. Moments past as Ryan stood with his tent pitched, watching this women dry off.
maybe she knows im here and she likes it? Ryan was in the process of thinking, but just as this was happening Ryan dropped his Spray bottle, and the women looked up.

- Got to get back to school work now but anyone (brody) is free to finish this story off

Sunday, October 18, 2009

The Lonely Butterfly Hunter

As if the flowers weren't flickering between the flaps of butterfly wings. As if there wasn't time to document the colour pattern. The lonely butterfly hunter removed his rusted white butterfly net in twitching eagerness to catch some ignorant little butterflies. Butterflies.
(Swoosh!)
One swipe of the net and one disappointing miss.
Pathetic butterfly hunter.
(Swoosh!) Pathetic.
(Swoosh!)
Butterfly hunting is difficult and it doesn't help that the butterflies are ignorant.
(Swoosh!)
Yes. The Butterfly hunter all at once stoled three little butterflies from the freedom of their Butter Flight. Three Pathetic Butterflies.
ButterFly hunting is difficult and it helps to use a large lightweight butterfly net.

The butterfly hunter took his butterflies home. He put them in his mixing drum and stirred them into a pulp. It was only natural that he put two slices of bread in the toaster. Then he spread the fly butter on the toast and topped it off with raspberry freezer jam. The spoils of a successful lonely butterfly hunter.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Dear Stolby,

It's not so much the cake wasn't good, it's just I've never been the most dedicated fan of cakes. It would please you to know I gave it to my neighbors. I haven't heard any comments back from them, but I am most positive they will return rave reviews. Don't get your shit in a knot. It looked palatable, but that's not reason enough for me to go risking my life shoving a potentially lethal cake down my pampered esophagus. 

Please don't send me any more cakes.



Signed,

--Tokyo Wilson--

Tokyo Wilson

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Action in Progress- ryan

In study room in library, women annoyed with something big african guy said. she says he will get kicked out if he keeps doing this, he says "im not your whore" (i almost laugh, not because im sexist but because i have never heard a guy say this) she gets the info guy... waiting now (this is happening as im writing this) he comes in, im starting to get excited because some shit might go down.. he says that work has to be done in this room and he leaves... damn. fucking anticlimactic! ok well here is how my version would go.
The small info guy runs into the library swinging, not because he is racist or naturally over aggressive, but because he has had a crush on this tattle tail for ages. The big guy is startled but prepared, he knew with that whore comment that something could happen. The IT guy jumps over a row of computers and attempts to crash into big guy (BG), BG jumps above his chair and puts all of his weight into his elbow which comes crashing down on IT's neck. The result is much more gorier than one would expect. Im two rows away and i get blood and brains (???) all over me as i type this. Im loving it because I have only seen this shit in video games. BG turns to me in agression, and i give him a thumbs up and smile. he smiles and runs off. I am left with a body and that tattle tail chick screaming in hysteria. I want her to shut up.
the end.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Dear Carol,


Dinner was amazing. It all smelled so good and tasted so much like it smelled. When I walked into the room the aroma was like a thick fog I had to feel my way through. I'm truly sorry about bumping my hand into your face, but you know as well as I the air was that thick, you couldn't even see in front of yourself. I'm also sorry about your cat, I will replace it as soon as my leg heals. There's a litter of baby cats in the alley behind my house, they look similar to the one you used to have. I'm also sorry about knocking over your lamp and having it smash all over the ground, shattering into tiny little glass bits, which we had to blindly walk over to get to the table. I hope your feet are looking better, and also your head after you knocked it on that counter. Oops. Your face will always be beautiful to me. Very nice dessert too; apples and cheese. I've never heard of that before, is it european? Very different.

When you get out of the hospital you should stop by my apartment. I'm making some tuna salad and would love to feed you for once, I know your probably being spoiled by the nurses right now, but I can make a mean tuna salad and would enjoy your company.



Best re guards,


Ramona Field