Excerpts from Merlon's Journal in the Village of Shouldice- Ryan BB shenanigans

Fourth day of Aprile,One Thousand One Hundred and Nine.

Woe be my tormented soul, for my life now is devoid of even simple pleasures. My talks with the local Alchemist (Alchi be his name) have become curt and without merriment upon late. It seems the deal with the crab people has applied to him as well, forcing him to sacrifice both his son, Jorst, and his younger daughter, Susan. In past times, Alchi always would laugh with childish delight upon seeing me remove my thumb from my hand, only to put it back seconds later. This morning when I did this, he simply put his head back into his hands and continued weeping. It seems my attempts to make this town happy are futile.

Alas, I have discovered ways in which to occupy my time while my town is dealing with present misfortunes. Months ago, I sent the local guard to search the southern hills of Coors for semi precious rocks (I have heard that some of these rocks hold mystical properties). Only recently did the guard return (some of them anyway) but more importantly carrying the rocks. Over the past few days my harem has helped place these rocks in my garden, creating pathways for which to view my rhododendrons and calla lilies. The sheer magnitude of my genius can be understood when viewing the garden from my tower, for when viewed, the rocks form the shape of my bust! Though these semi precious minerals are now put to good use, I hesitate to write that the original purpose of this minor expedition has been forgotten. I trust that you will keep this information secret.
I shall write soone,
Merlon

Below is a rough sketch of my rock bust;

Village of Shouldice - Royal Proclamation of the Highest Order -by Ryan

General Commodities...

1. Grapes are now forbidden
2. Melons are henceforth to be named Merlons. Violation of this will result in Merlon seeing your melons. If such an easy task is not possible for thee, Merlon will cut thy melon off.

3. Ale and forest weed must now all pass through the royal treasury. Given this new inconvenience for the Magesterium, these products will be taxed heavily. What? is thy complaining? They will now be taxed exhaustively.


Relations with the Crab People...

Peace talks with the crab people have not gone as well as promised. Now, families must sacrifice their second child in addition to their first to avoid the crab people from coming to the surface.

Casual Friday...
Feel free to wear whatever garmet or robe you feel like for this fridays mass funeral

-Merlon

Bartering Gone Awry

Village Archives

The economy in the Village of Shouldice is being strangled by the new and absurd taxes put in place by Merlin. With so much money going towards taxes, there seems to be little money left for buying goods. Merlin says the tax money is going back into the Village, but so far he has only used the money to build a small statue of himself in the centre of town and to repaint his fence with a colour he feels better represents his personality.

To make matters worse, the town shop keeps have been at a severe bartering disadvantage. The violent citizens have been using their sharp and dangerous looking garden tools to barter and buy goods at ridiculously low prices. Some rumours have been circulating about cases where the shop keeps have actually been persuaded to pay their patrons to take the goods. The Merchants Guild is in a quick race to arm all the shop keeps with their own dangerous looking gardening tools.

It should also be mentioned that some of the children in the local school have started eating grass, sometimes spending their entire recess breaks grazing in the field beside the school.

Two worlds part

A notice to the Villagers was posted late last night on the wall of the local tavern. From the gossip that is circulating, the notice apparently stated Merlins eldest daughter Camellia has gone missing. She was last spotted talking with a young boy named Jemmy. It used to be thought that Jemmy was born slow minded due to his premature birth and large forehead, but it was later decided he was a capable young boy when he won the skipping contest at the local fair. He's now believed to be in a romantic and clumsy relationship with Camellia.

Also to be noted, the congregation of angry and adventurous villages have left town, leaving the stragglers and Apathetics behind in a half deserted Village. The old Mayor, Gary McKinnon, was also forced against his will to leave town with the abandoning villagers as part of Merlins ongoing commitment to his promise of extraditing him from Shouldice. Although Gary committed no real crime and isn't being handed over to any other Village authorities, Merlin insisted he leave town bound in shackles.

On a side note, one of the Apathetics, Janice, knitted a sweater today for her neighbors daughter as a gesture of good will. It was also to spite their family, since it was their daughters birthday and all the neighbors were invited except Janice.

Merlin Increases Taxes

The new mayor of Shouldice has raised the taxation rate on family incomes from a modest 5% to 45%. He has also raised the tax on bartered goods from 2% to 10%.

Although the Mayor stated he has no need to defend his decisions, as he knows what is best for all the villagers, he has justified his dramatic tax increases with the promise improving the deteriorating state of Shouldice. He has also started posting pictures of himself on the sides of public buildings.

Also to be noted, two carriages have been loaded with copious amounts of water and food. It would not be surprising if a disconcerting amount of villagers set out tomorrow in search of whatever it is they are in search of.

Change in Power

Merlin has been voted mayor of Shouldice after calling upon the election himself. Only three citizens voted in the election as most of the Apathetics were buying bread that day, and the other more violent citizens were sharpening their gardening tools into more dangerous looking bartering tools. The ballot tally'er has informed us that the three voters were Merlins' two daughters and his wife Emily, who has been missing for a number of years. Emily has once again disappeared.

Division in the Village

It appears the villagers have formed two distinct parties. One of the parties is very violent and continues to throw small rocks at the mayors' statue. The other party is composed of the rest of the villagers, who seam to be ignorant to the current state of affairs. The violent ones refer to them as the Apathetics, since have managed to completely ignore the unfolding drama.

Some of the Apathetics took today as an opportunity to buy bread from the local bakery.

Dismay

A large number of people have been gathering at the town square. Rumors have been circulating that certain citizens are planning to leave the village. They believe there might be other places to settle beyond the hills. A meeting has been scheduled at the hall to discuss the issue.