My Internet Connection is Lagging -- Brody the Writter

It's a well documented stereotypical fact that Muslims don't have a lot of sex. It's also a stereotypical fact that when they do have the sex, they make it count. That means they have to buy more bread and ice cream for a bunch of screaming baby mouths to keep them quiet and alive. They also start paying attention to those annoying diaper commercials on the color motion screen (Diaper commercials: the only legal form of child pornography [sick bastards]).

"Come on, What's your point?" the stubborn internet reader interjected annoyingly, while simultaneously picking their nose and smearing it on their keyboard, then quickly wiping their finger off as they realized their actions were being documented.

"I'm fucking getting to it!" I said out loud, seemingly to myself.

A girl code named Nikita recently had me watch this video about how the Muslim culture is going to dominate the world population in the next half century or so. This all because, on average, they fornicate large families and other cultures don't; therefore, by the process of diffusion, they well spread out evenly over the world and smother everyone else. The video is obviously made by a fear mongering Christian, and therefore must be taking with a grain of salt and sugar, yet it's underlying premise is true that Muslims have a high sperm count.

All that I can surmise from the video is that Muslims are hogging all the internet bandwidth in my neighborhood, which is why my connection is lagging. Makes it pretty tough for me to trick internet daters into requesting dates with Rico Speedster (the 6'1" figure skater with an unbuttoned silk white shirt and glazed six-pack, who drives a sexy black 1969 GTO) only to discover it's actually a creepy internet writter with bad grammer and slpelling skills, at which time it would be to late and I could mass produce small copies of myself over nine month intervals.

It's time to start investing in Baby Thong Diapers.